Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Interview & Eats

The darling Jenny decided to choose me for her interview questions. They're great questions, but I can't guarantee that I have great answers for them!

1. If you were on your deathbed (grusome, I know) and could eat one food before you died, what would it be?
Definitely chocolate. My favorite kind is extra dark, and it would be my dream to find some with figs in it! Eating chocolate seriously improves my mood, must be all those endorphins. I think it would be nice if I could have one last sliver of happiness before I passed on.

2. Who is one person (dead or alive) that you truly admire and why?
My cello teacher. I don't talk about her very much on here because she doesn't know about the blog and I'd feel weird blogging about her a lot. But she's my mentor. She struggled with depression when she was my age, so she can relate a lot to the feelings of hopelessness that I have now. I talk to her more than my therapist, haha, and she always has really useful advice for combating ED even though she has never had one herself. After I told her that I'd been diagnosed with anorexia, she told me that she was afraid I'd waste away and it broke my heart! Also, she has a very carpe diem attitude. She's trying to experience everything that she can right now so she can look back on her life later and realize that she's accomplished everything that she's ever wanted to do.

3. If you could pick on animal that resembles you (not physically) what would it be and why?
Hm, probably a sea otter! I like to think that I'm clever, curious, and cunning (alliteration!) like otters are. Otters often slide down snow/ice slopes just for fun, and lately I've been trying to "live life to the fullest" and do things for sheer enjoyment. Plus, otters are really active I'm always very bouncy and hyper and can barely contain myself in my seat!

4. What is your favorite possession that you just could never live without?
My cello! Playing music is very therapeutic for me. I'm writing a poem on this for school, so this is very fresh in my mind! Obviously, I don't enjoy myself too much when I'm playing etudes or scales, or anything else boring like that. This will sound lame but when I master a piece, a wave of bliss washes over me. It's so surreal, I feel like I've left my body and just get wrapped up in the sound of my playing.

5. What is your favorite quote/anecdote/song lyrics/poem/etc.? What attracts you so much to this?
My favorite quote, by Helen Keller: When one door closes, another opens. But often we look so long so regretfully upon the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us.
This is true for many aspects of my life. Pre-ED, and sometimes now, I would get so upset over something like being second chair in orchestra that it was all that I could think of, and I missed so many opportunities to improve myself while wallowing in my self pity. And now that I do have an ED, I'm so concerned with losing ED and not having an identity without it that I'm missing a lot of chances to rediscover the real me. Lately I've been so convinced that I shouldn't have ever gained that weight and I shouldn't have made all that mental progress, because now I've almost lost ED, the only thing in my life that I feel really cares about me and pushes me to be perfect. Even if he does push me to be perfect in terms of losing weight, at least I'm getting attention for something. But now I'm realizing that I need to change, I need to escape this anorexic mindset! Now that I don't have this second conscience sitting on my shoulder telling me to restrict and lose weight constantly, I have so many opportunities to define who Kiki really is. I must have felt my life was worth something more than being "perfectly" thin before this disorder, so I need to use how far I've come to my advantage and uncover that again.

Wanna play along? Follow these steps:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others
in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them
five questions.

Okay, now breakfast wasn't too special. The only thing I took a pic of was my oats. My toppings were freeze dried nanners (all gone!), the last two strawberries in the box, and some flaked coconut. Yummers.

In gym today we had to run the mile, blech. Usually I get tired easily and walk, and end up getting like 13 minutes. But today, I felt really strong and energetic so I got 9:27! I know it's nothing compared to the runners on here who run miles every day, but I feel accomplished. I was hungry and weak after I ran, so I ate this and it was okay.

Then lunch was boring, but I took a picture for you anyway. It's a PB sammich, carrots, a TLC bar, and a Wallaby down under yogurt. Normally I don't like Wallaby because it's "thick and creamy" Australian style is actually quite runny. But this kind was really yummy and thick, and I loved the gobs of fruit on the bottom. This was a new product at Whole Foods.

For my snack today, I had a sandwich thin grilled with 2 slices of mozarella and some applesauce. I love this combo! Also almonds and carrots. I'm pretty sure that my hands are turning orange from all this vitamin a!

Dinner was quinoa with sauteed apples and almonds. I like quinoa way more than rice, and it cooks faster too. I've had this recipe before, but not since I started the blog, and it's great. I used 2 tbs EVOO and 1/4 cup chopped almonds instead of slivered.
I now see that ED has decieved me into thinking this is enough for dinner. I shall now go eat some dried figs and string cheese.

Sorry for the huge post! Sleep tight pretties!


Anonymous said...

Oats? Nothing Special? Yeah right, those look fantastic!

Mmm, the sammiches and quinoa look delicious too. I really love the flavors in the quinoa.

Sharon said...

Great answers! You are so cute Kiki! =)

And oh my... Wallaby yogurt? I need to start coming to the united states to shop for food! LOL!

CaSaundraLeigh said...

Love the interview & it's so cool your eating things you wouldn't have before! Congrats =) It feels so good right? You should totally interview me--I'm quite interesting lol.

Breaking Free said...

Love the answers to your interview questions. I can definitely relate to the whole anorexic-mindset thing and wanting to hold on to it. I'm really struggling with that right now, and most days I just plain don't want to try or to recover or to gain weight. I'm glad that you are working so hard and are learning how to rediscover yourself! Great snack idea btw, I must get some sandwich thins! Please interview me next! It sounds so fun!

Anonymous said...

Fabulous interview! It's great that you have your cello teacher in your life :)

That dinner sounds yummy!

Anonymous said...

haha great answers - yummy chocolate :)
love the wallaby yogurt!

Laci said...

WOW it sounds like you have a very special Cello teacher! You should just consider her your theripist and find a way to gain some more wieght so your parents can trust you to ditch your current one, who I'm assuming you don't particularly enjoy, and Icertianly can't blame you! I <3ed the interview! You can interview me, please! I'l pass it on!...
What do you mean boring!? Your eats today looked wonderful, comfroting and nourishing! I especially loved the lunch, snack and inner- I noticed something we have in common: we both don't really enjoy school lunch and love comming home to prepare a nice, creative and nutritous after school snack in preparation for dinner, a couple hours before! I can read you like a book missy! (haha, just kidding!) Hope you have a good night sweetie! E-mail me for the interview if you get a chance! :D

Jess :) said...

Great foods today and I love those questions! Thanks for the comment too! You're sweet :) Congrats on the gym class achievement! Doesn't matter what the time was-it's still awesome! :) And it's a great time anyways, so girlie-BE PROUD!
<3 jess :)

Gaby said...

Hey Kiki! All your food looks so good! I love all the flavor combos, they're unique, and make me really want to try them. I love freeze dried anything and used to buy the strawberries all the time but can't find them a nymore, I'll have to check at WF again.
I really liked your interview responses too. I can relate to the ED feelings, but I can also tell you that you are so much more! Seriously, you're so talented, with the music, dance, cooking, even running! I never managed under 10 or 11 minutes at your age, and even now, all your talents put me to shame! Great job realizing dinner was too small, keep it up!

Brooke said...

i loved your interview from jenny! great answers :) i feel the same way as you talk about your anorexic mindset. what is it that we want to hold on to? for me i think it is comfort and my life. i know that is sounds horrible - but that is why recovery is so important! as for you too. no one deserves to live a life with an eating disorder! you did the right thing sweetie. [and p.s i love sea otters too!]

wow your oatmeal looks fantastic! banana coconut strawberry - i must try this. mmm! and i love quinoa. your dinner looks delicious but im glad that you went against eds beliefs! you are awesome :)

p.s ill email you back tomorrow!

dollymixtures said...

As always everything looks fantastic! Those oats seem so yummy...I have to get some flaked coconut ^^ Do you like just buy it in bags?

It must be good to have your cello teacher to look up to, I know it always helps when there's someone you can be inspired by! :)

Maya said...

love the sound of your dinner..and i loved reading your interview questions:)

Anonymous said...

i love the answers too all those questions! listening to you talk about cello is so lovely - you sound all dreamy and passionate. and your teacher sounds amazing!
mouth watering eats as ever kiki babyyy!! love youuu xxxx

nourishing mornings said...

wow love all your eats that quinoa dish looks amazing i need to try that and those oats are so creative.
love the interview answers your so cute. :)

Erin said...

why is your food always so perfffect?!

i dont hate it ;)

make me oats! yum yum eat em up.

youre an otteR?
like pb&j?
like my sandwich?!

love otters

aussirish said...

oo well done on that mile hun, thats great :)
great eats, all looks super yummy!
have a great night
love you

Anonymous said...

Interesting stuff you have there. Good eats too.

Howabout you interview me too?

Mel said...

i loved reading your interview girl!! that Helen Keller quote is something that really stood out to me-- I definitely have a hard time looking past my current worries to see all the opportunities I have in front of me, and I think we all do this sometimes. Thanks for the reminder, I needed that today :-) Have a great night! <3