Saturday, February 21, 2009

Birthday Fun!

Well, kind of. I woke up this morning feeling quite low. I was in a very negative, body-hating mood and I couldn't do anything to distract myself. I was really focused on how stupid I was to even try to recover anyway, to try to leave ED. This feeling held over through ballet, which just made the body image and comparing myself a million times worse. Arg.

But, today was my mom's birthday so I had to act smiley and positive all freaking day! I suppose it was for the better, so I wouldn't have been able to isolate myself and let the ED feelings grow. For breakfast, I made aebleskiver! For those of you who don't know, aebleskiver are a Danish breakfast treat. You fry them in a special pan that kind of looks like a round muffin pan. They taste like puffy buttermilk pancakes! Me and my mom are Danish so I asked for the pan for Valentines day, tehe. I added a bit of sliced apple in mine. Yay, look how cute and bite-sized they are!
I had a couple dipped in applesauce.
I also had another apple with cheese and blueberry crumble oatmeal! I topped my oats with micro'd bluebs, a crumbled vanilla gingersnap, and a splash of vanilla soymilk. Soo good.

For lunch after ballet, me and my sister went to the mall. I have already expressed my hatred of fast food. I got Subway (veggie delite w/ provolone on wheat). That is totally not a recycled picture. Really.
I had baked lays on the side, then when I got home I had an apple and dark choco chips.

My snack was a repeat of yesterday, except cauliflower instead of a tangerine. I love applesauce and cottage cheese! It tastes yummy and keeps me full foreva.

For her birthday dinner, my mom choose to go out to Mi Rancho. They didn't have many veggie options, so I ended up getting vegetable fajitas. They were made of sauteed zucchini, carrots, onions, mushrooms, and a bit of bell pepper. I wrapped them in two delish homemade tortillas, and topped them with a bit of guacamole. Not the normal Mexican veggies, but very yummy! On the side, I had some refried beans. No pic because I didn't want to make my mom feel uncomfortable on her birthday. For some reason, I never have any problem eating out. I can't stand it when one of my parents cooks for me, but ED is totally okay with letting me go to restaurants. I guess I just convince myself that it's okay to eat out on special occasions like this. I actually managed to enjoy myself, and didn't let myself start calculating calories. So yay!

When we got home, we digested a bit and then had cake. My mom requested a raspberry cake without chocolate in it, so I made this recipe with modifications. I stirred in the raspberries instead of just putting them on top, and made a buttercream icing instead of a glaze. It was good, but a tad dry. My mom liked it though.

My good mood was ruined right before we had cake. My dad got ticked off at me over something stupid, and my mom got angry at him for getting angry at me. Then I got mad because I hate to see other people mad! I'm actually sort of at the point where I feel very satisfied when I upset my dad, but that's another story. But I felt really bad that my mom wasn't enjoying her birthday cake as much as she should have, so then I didn't want to eat mine either. I hate eating when I'm upset. So, there was a very tense atmosphere at the table and I found it really hard to eat. I only ate half my piece of cake.

Hope you are all enjoying your weekends! I'm off to do my puzzle and listen to Celtic music haha.


emily. said...

Your breakfast sounds really good! I wish I could make them too. :)

Apple sauce and cream cheese? :o Sounds weird, but I'm definitely going to try it out!

Sorry about the birthday party! :( I hate when I feel like I ruined some one's day even when they don't feel like I have. The cake looks fantastic though. Have another piece! :)

<3 Have a great rest of the night.

Anonymous said...

I've heard of those things! Pancake Puffs =) haha

Sorry you had such a bad day, I hope tomorrow is better!!!

Jess :) said...

I am sorry about the "pre-cake incident." I hope everything gets resolved. I am still very proud of you for today! You seemed to do really well and your dinner sounds SUPER YUM! All your pics look so adorably tasty. I agree with Emily, live it up and have another piece! :)
<3 jess :)

Laci said...

Sorry your morning/night was kinda bummed out, looks like you made the best of going out though. I totally agree with you about eating out... it's not a huge fear of mine, yet I don't like my mom to cook meals for me too, ED feels too uncomfortable and she feels kinda bad (Though she's gotten used to it and is ok since I eat substantial meals now!) so it's just really awkward and annoying. Nice simple cake, I will try to veganize it... sorry you didn't enjoy it though, I know how sitting at a table expected to eat after conflick feels, way tense. :P
P.S. cool breakfast mini puffs! And I love how you always have oats along side, I should try that to boost cals/nutrients in the moring (to cut some sugar at night) too! ;)

Erin said...

hi girl friend...
well you had a packed day of birthday fun but i'm sorry momma wasn't just as happy when it came time for cake!
you really are quite the chef with your ebilskiveuekj thingers hahah.. i tried to spell it but then butchered it.. sooo i stopped :)

k have a good day tomorrow!

Sharon said...

Everything looks great. The cake looks amazing, and I'm sorry to hear about the ending with the bad mood and such. But hope you have a great evening Kiki. :D

dollymixtures said...

Aww I'm sorry to hear about all the negative stuff :/ Families suck when they make you feel angry and upset, and I never feel like eating either when that stuff happens :( *Hugs* But the cake looks really nice, congrats :]

Anonymous said...

Sorry your day was up down and all around!! It still sounds like a fabulous celebration :)

CC!! So glad you like the combo! Have a great Sunday, girlie!

Burp and Slurp~! said...

aww, I'm sorry about that little tiff at the end...but how sweet of you to bake your mom a lovely cake!
wow, never tried those danish pancakes before, but looks and sounds delish!

tinyirishdancer said...

Ooh. Your brekkie looks yumskies. Actually, all your foodage for today looks yumskies!

I'm sorreh about the party. =[
I hate it when those things happen..
But I'm sure your mom had a wonderful birthday anyhow. How could she not - look at that cake!! yUm.

Heehee. Thank you for your sweet commento - we should totally be partay buddies! I like your plan. =D

And the mac'n'cheese was actually O Organics brand, from Whole Foods. I do have some Annies in my pantry somewhere, though..*digs around*

Have a lovely Sunday! <3's!

aussirish said...

heya hun
great eats :) that cake looks so good!
im sorry things got a lil tense though, hopefully itll all be ok by the morning and im sure ur mum still had a great day!
sleep well hun
love you

Pammy said...

I just found your blog and I am enjoying reading it. I know how difficult it is to eat when your upset but you should be so so so proud of yourself for having half the cake!

Breaking Free said...

I'm sorry that you had such a crummy day Kiki. I really hate it when ED tries to butt in on a could-be-good morning. It really messes up my entire day. And I know how uncomfortable it feels eating when you are upset. I hope that tomorrow is a whole lot better for you.

Anonymous said...

First off that was so sweet of you to make your mum the cake :) Im sorry it turned into a bit of a 'situation'...I know its harder to eat when emotions are running high, but at least you ate some, if not all of your piece. I think your mum would appreciate that more than if you had refused any at all.

Im glad you are able to eat out without ED annoying you so much. I kinda understand this - when I lived with my mum I always felt that if she were to sort any of my food she would be trying to deliberately make things bigger portions, add extra cals etc but with restaurants they have things set & aren't 'out to get you' so maybe this is why it seems easier. Im sure you your parents are really not trying to make things difficult but they just want to be ensure that you are getting enough & dont relapse. Trust takes time to re-establish from both yours & your parents sides so just keep at it :D

Hope your week goes well ! x

Megan said...

sorry the night ended a little bleh.

but i'm thinking some of those danish breakfast treats could cheer a girl right up! they look SCRUMPTIOUS!