Well, kind of. I woke up this morning feeling quite low. I was in a very negative, body-hating mood and I couldn't do anything to distract myself. I was really focused on how stupid I was to even try to recover anyway, to try to leave ED. This feeling held over through ballet, which just made the body image and comparing myself a million times worse. Arg.
But, today was my mom's birthday so I had to act smiley and positive all freaking day! I suppose it was for the better, so I wouldn't have been able to isolate myself and let the ED feelings grow. For breakfast, I made aebleskiver! For those of you who don't know, aebleskiver are a Danish breakfast treat. You fry them in a special pan that kind of looks like a round muffin pan. They taste like puffy buttermilk pancakes! Me and my mom are Danish so I asked for the pan for Valentines day, tehe. I added a bit of sliced apple in mine. Yay, look how cute and bite-sized they are!
I had a couple dipped in applesauce.
I also had another apple with cheese and blueberry crumble oatmeal! I topped my oats with micro'd bluebs, a crumbled vanilla gingersnap, and a splash of vanilla soymilk. Soo good.
For lunch after ballet, me and my sister went to the mall. I have already expressed my hatred of fast food. I got Subway (veggie delite w/ provolone on wheat). That is totally not a recycled picture. Really.
I had baked lays on the side, then when I got home I had an apple and dark choco chips.
My snack was a repeat of yesterday, except cauliflower instead of a tangerine. I love applesauce and cottage cheese! It tastes yummy and keeps me full foreva.
For her birthday dinner, my mom choose to go out to Mi Rancho. They didn't have many veggie options, so I ended up getting vegetable fajitas. They were made of sauteed zucchini, carrots, onions, mushrooms, and a bit of bell pepper. I wrapped them in two delish homemade tortillas, and topped them with a bit of guacamole. Not the normal Mexican veggies, but very yummy! On the side, I had some refried beans. No pic because I didn't want to make my mom feel uncomfortable on her birthday. For some reason, I never have any problem eating out. I can't stand it when one of my parents cooks for me, but ED is totally okay with letting me go to restaurants. I guess I just convince myself that it's okay to eat out on special occasions like this. I actually managed to enjoy myself, and didn't let myself start calculating calories. So yay!
When we got home, we digested a bit and then had cake. My mom requested a raspberry cake without chocolate in it, so I made this recipe with modifications. I stirred in the raspberries instead of just putting them on top, and made a buttercream icing instead of a glaze. It was good, but a tad dry. My mom liked it though.
My good mood was ruined right before we had cake. My dad got ticked off at me over something stupid, and my mom got angry at him for getting angry at me. Then I got mad because I hate to see other people mad! I'm actually sort of at the point where I feel very satisfied when I upset my dad, but that's another story. But I felt really bad that my mom wasn't enjoying her birthday cake as much as she should have, so then I didn't want to eat mine either. I hate eating when I'm upset. So, there was a very tense atmosphere at the table and I found it really hard to eat. I only ate half my piece of cake.
Hope you are all enjoying your weekends! I'm off to do my puzzle and listen to Celtic music haha.