Monday, March 2, 2009

I love you, weatherman!

Normally I hate my weatherman because he always predicts lots of snow and school cancellations but then it doesn't snow one flake. But now I love him because we did actually get 4-5 inches of snow last night and school was closed! Yipee!

I knew I needed to bake as soon as I woke up haha. My mom's favorite food is raisins and I felt like being extra nice to her so I made really good vegan raisin scones. They were indeed really good! I love it when raisin-y baked goods actually have a decent amount of raisins in each bite. I used half white whole wheat flour and half all purpose and it was hard to tell.
I also made broiled grapefruit with honey, vanilla, and cardamom. My grandma sent us a bit of cardamom because she couldn't figure out what to do with it. I was skeptical of warmed grapefruit but this turned out really yummy. Especially with a scone and a cup of chai.
I was actually full after this, miracle of miracles! I decided to roll with it because I've been eating more lately anyway, and part of eating intuitively is stopping when I'm full.

Then I started to clean my room. I barely ever go in my room, I mostly live in the office and living room (oh wait, and kitchen!) and just use my room for sleeping. So various knick-knacks, sheets of paper, magazines, etc. tend to accumulate up because I'm never in my room to clean them up. But this morning I woke up and my room was so cluttered that it was giving me a headache! I cleaned for a solid two hours and now I can actually breathe when I walk into my room. While cleaning, I found a couple things from my elementary school days...
This is Phillip. He is a frog, in case you couldn't tell. I made him in kindergarten. Sometimes Phillip feels sad because all the other froggies shun his unnatural blue color :[

I felt a bit peckish around 10:30 so I had plain yogurt with bluebs and HN Cheerios.

When I finished cleaning I had lunch. If you all haven't noticed, I am officially obsessed with honey nut cheerios! So obviously I had to put them in a sammich.. today it was sunflower seed butter and HN cheerios, grilled on WW potato bread. Tehehehe so good! Also carrots, a trek mix bar and carrots. I miss carrots too much to stop eating them!

For my snackin' I had applesauce+cheese on a sandwich thin. With a spoon of PB and a kiwi!

Indian for dinner! We picked up whole wheat naan bread at TJ's the other day. Naan is my most favoritey favorite bread in the world so I was looking forward to dinner all day! I made curried channa (chickpeas) and peas to go with it. Green peas aren't Indian but whatever.

This afternoon me and my mom (my mom and I??) attempted to make Hurdy Gurdy's oatmeal bars. The hurdy gurdy is a strange instrument, but the name of the recipe is some inside joke between my mom and some guy she knew in college (she majored in music). It was a failure because I convinced my mom to use butter instead of shortening due to trans fat. We ended up with sort of a toffee-strusel, instead of chewy bars. It was mighty good on top of vanilla ice cream for dessert, however!

If you're still reading this, I love you. Today has been more difficult than the past few days have been. After lunch I started to get really hungry again so I did more snacking than what's in the picture. Now I feel guilty, like I'm having way too much food. I made myself play Wii sports for a long time and I did some workout moves that I haven't done since the worst of restricting to burn some calories off. But, I keep eating when I'm hungry. ED is really really pissed off at me right now. "You have an ED, and you feel guilty. You have an excuse to stop eating. So why won't you?" I know I won't, but I want to listen to him so badly! I know the positives to recovery far outweigh the negatives, but right now I don't especially care. ED is comfortable, restricting is comfortable. Eating anything I want without knowing whether I'm gaining is not comfortable.

Sorry for the negative post. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Good night, chicas!

Oh, and One Frugal Foodie is having an amazing, gigantic giveaway. Make sure you check it out!


Anonymous said...

stay strong kiki - dont let ED be a bully ;)

as for that dinner of yours missy - FABULOUS

Jemima said...

Stay strong lovely - you probably felt hungry because you had a smaller brekkie than you're used to - nothing to be ashamed of! <3 you loads xxx

ChocolateCoveredVegan said...

Aww, Phil is ADORABLE!

The scones sound good too... I might be making 'em!

Megan said...

its my mom and I in this case :)

looooove indian food! yum yum yummy.

dont you just LOVE when school get's closed? it seriously makes me giddy lol i love it!

Laci said...

Heya Kiks-
Yeah such lovlie eats today, I don't see restricting at all! MMM scones, tea, cereal/yogurt/berries, PB sandwich w/ yogurt, carrots and a bar, grilled cheese (cheeze!)+ kiwi, bread and TWO leguemes, an and and vanilla ice cream with some oat crumbled bar thing! Souinds lovely, in my opinion... and Phillip is so cute, you were one talented 5 year old! :D I'm sorry EDs been interfereing again, for a few days you seemed so confident and free, I really admired your attitude and relationship w/ yourself/food! Please don't let him put you down- I'm sorry you wanted to "burn it off" and restrict, but try to consider the long run: WE Want- NEED to recover 100%, we can't let ED keep letting us fall back into negitive thoughts and miserable, ontrolling habbits. YOU are so strong and beautiful, he is just stingy, hideous and evil! keep fighting, I'm here for you hon! :)

Jess :) said...

I agree with everyone else-it's okay to be hungry and don't let ED mess with you. He's just there to make u feel like crud=bad thing! Don't let him stop u in your tracks! Love the eats today. Those muffins look so fantastic. Have a great night!
<3 jess :)

Pammy said...

Yay for snow days. You are lucky you only got 4-5 inches. it snowed ALL DAY in CT.

I know its hard when Ed is telling you that you shouldn't have eaten this or that but just remember that he is definitely not worth it. you have your whole life ahead of you and you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Ed is definitely not going to help you accomplish anything other than staying sick- and I dont want to see you stay sick.

You are in my thoughts honey, hang in there <3

tinyirishdancer said...

Ahh snow days. You lucky duck.
We Californians have never seen the likes of a snow day.

Wish there were rain days.

WOW at those scones. I haven't made scones in FOREVAH.
*adds to infinite Morgan to-do list*
I may finish that before I die.

And Philip is too adorable!
Poor likkle rejected froggie.
Aw well. His mummy luffs him. =]

Haha! A cheerio sandwich?
Oh Kiki. What shall we do with you and your bottomless pit of creativity?

Mhm. Methinks I'll have some crumbled Heath Bar on my ice cream tonight (unless Mum ATE them all. Then I'll have to settle for Buttahfinger. *sigh*.)
You inspire me. =D

Hmm. I agree with Jemima - your brekkie was pretty small, so more snacking is understandable. I'm sorry ED is giving you a hard time, though. Little pooper.
Stay strong, girlie! I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!

Hee. Morgan pep talk, thar.
I'll leave you alone, now. =]

Ta-ta for now. Have a beautiful evening and much <3's!!

Anonymous said...

Glad you enjoyed your snow day! There's just something about snow and baking that goes together - it's like PB&J!

Oooh I like the looks of the applesauce/cheese sammy! Keep pushing for recovery, princess!

just me said...

keep your chin up!!! i know you can fight that nasty voice! just keep yelling back at it !!!

lesley said...

Those scones look delicious!!

YAY for your snow day!! : )!

Brooke said...

snow day! :D

i love your sandwiches [and naan!] today! and the scones look delicious. but i agree with jemima that your hunger could be due to the lack of protein and fiber in your breakfast. but do not get ed dictate your recovery and process because of your hunger! i have days where i feel like i never can reach fullness. its a very uncomfortable and scary feeling! and that is why ed seems like the right choice. yes its comforting - we know what it feels like to be in misery and restriction. but always remember that your health is at risk - especially in recovery because that is the time that many relapse. relapsing can do damage and put a lot of strain on your heart and internal organs. but just know that you are not alone :) im here for you anytime!

stay strong <3 you!

Tiny Tina. said...

You may feel that ED and the behaviours he manifests are comfortable, but what have you done so far? You've pushed yourself WAY out of your comfort zone by choosing to shove him right out of the way and focusing on becoming healthier and happier. And you've done fantastically so far. Eventually you'll find it easier to block that negative voice, or to take it and spin it to your advantage - sure, ED might say you're supposed to stop eating but no, ED does not have a full, clenching grasp on you anymore. You've become stronger and more able to fight it. =)
Keep up the good work and keep honouring your hunger! Once again your food looks DELISH, especially those scones! And POWAHHHH to the sunflower seed butter! YAYZ. So glad to have found someone that shares my interest for it. xD

margarida said...

i have to say, your eats just look fenomenal!
i'm very happy for you :) keep being stronger swettie, don't give up!


cosmicwild said...

omg wikid it hardly ever snows over here!..well apart from a couple weeks ago :)
two hours of cleaning! well done :D must have bee abit messy then :p
your doing so well babee proper proud like! you just have to rmeeber that when your hungry its because your bodie needs them extra calories to keep it all healthy and jazz

ohh ye and your applesauce+cheese sandich sounds amazingg
have a great dayyy :D

Maya said...

those scones look great! i love naan! its so good. love you

Anonymous said...

LUCKY! I can't believe I don't get a day off...but then again, I don't want it to snow anymore haha

Haha that froggie is so adorable! I love it.

I agree with Jemima, it's probably because you had a small breakfast. I always make sure to eat 400-500 calories in the morning to keep me going and to prevent lots of snackage later on.

Stay Strong Chica! xx

emily. said...

Lucky you! It snowed three inches here yesterday but we still had school. Silly administration.

I adore scones. They're one of my favorite breakfast foods! Oh, and thanks for the recipe link. I was looking for a good one to try and I never noticed that vegweb had any. (Isn't vegweb just the greatest site, ever?)

Phil! <3 He's so cute! :)

Stay strong, Kiki! ED is stupid and you shouldn't listen to him. You've already made so much progress- just keep truckin' along. <3

Have a great rest of the day.

aussirish said...

hi girlie
your doing so great listening to your hunger and its so inspiring to see :) im so proud of you. im sorry todays been harder but i think the intuitive eating is just something that the ed doesnt like at all, but your still doing it so thats the main thing :)
dinner looks so good!
im glad you had a snow day :)
your honey nut cherios reminds me of my obsession i had with them 2 years ago...i ate them all the time i do with the other cereal now haha.
have a great night hun
love you lots

Anonymous said...

I absolutely LOVE your blue frog!

Yay for snow. By me we didn't get nearly as much as you did, but we still had off from school (yay).
I'm always so interested in your baking, you make such good stuff. I have a couple of recipes I'm planning on making soon.
Have a great afternoon/evening!

Lauryn said...

YOU got this kiki! don't listen to ED, keep fueling up on all those delicious foods!! =)

umm and you're SO clever -- HNC in a sandwich?!?! i love it! i have to try that naan bread asap too.


ellie said...

just want to say hi- I've been lurking for a while and also lurk on CC so feel like I know you already!

prompted to post when I saw your message on lauren's blog and wanted to say that I made shephard's pie with lentils and it was really good :)