I love you, weatherman!

Normally I hate my weatherman because he always predicts lots of snow and school cancellations but then it doesn't snow one flake. But now I love him because we did actually get 4-5 inches of snow last night and school was closed! Yipee!

I knew I needed to bake as soon as I woke up haha. My mom's favorite food is raisins and I felt like being extra nice to her so I made really good vegan raisin scones. They were indeed really good! I love it when raisin-y baked goods actually have a decent amount of raisins in each bite. I used half white whole wheat flour and half all purpose and it was hard to tell.
I also made broiled grapefruit with honey, vanilla, and cardamom. My grandma sent us a bit of cardamom because she couldn't figure out what to do with it. I was skeptical of warmed grapefruit but this turned out really yummy. Especially with a scone and a cup of chai.
I was actually full after this, miracle of miracles! I decided to roll with it because I've been eating more lately anyway, and part of eating intuitively is stopping when I'm full.

Then I started to clean my room. I barely ever go in my room, I mostly live in the office and living room (oh wait, and kitchen!) and just use my room for sleeping. So various knick-knacks, sheets of paper, magazines, etc. tend to accumulate up because I'm never in my room to clean them up. But this morning I woke up and my room was so cluttered that it was giving me a headache! I cleaned for a solid two hours and now I can actually breathe when I walk into my room. While cleaning, I found a couple things from my elementary school days...
This is Phillip. He is a frog, in case you couldn't tell. I made him in kindergarten. Sometimes Phillip feels sad because all the other froggies shun his unnatural blue color :[

I felt a bit peckish around 10:30 so I had plain yogurt with bluebs and HN Cheerios.

When I finished cleaning I had lunch. If you all haven't noticed, I am officially obsessed with honey nut cheerios! So obviously I had to put them in a sammich.. today it was sunflower seed butter and HN cheerios, grilled on WW potato bread. Tehehehe so good! Also carrots, a trek mix bar and carrots. I miss carrots too much to stop eating them!

For my snackin' I had applesauce+cheese on a sandwich thin. With a spoon of PB and a kiwi!

Indian for dinner! We picked up whole wheat naan bread at TJ's the other day. Naan is my most favoritey favorite bread in the world so I was looking forward to dinner all day! I made curried channa (chickpeas) and peas to go with it. Green peas aren't Indian but whatever.

This afternoon me and my mom (my mom and I??) attempted to make Hurdy Gurdy's oatmeal bars. The hurdy gurdy is a strange instrument, but the name of the recipe is some inside joke between my mom and some guy she knew in college (she majored in music). It was a failure because I convinced my mom to use butter instead of shortening due to trans fat. We ended up with sort of a toffee-strusel, instead of chewy bars. It was mighty good on top of vanilla ice cream for dessert, however!

If you're still reading this, I love you. Today has been more difficult than the past few days have been. After lunch I started to get really hungry again so I did more snacking than what's in the picture. Now I feel guilty, like I'm having way too much food. I made myself play Wii sports for a long time and I did some workout moves that I haven't done since the worst of restricting to burn some calories off. But, I keep eating when I'm hungry. ED is really really pissed off at me right now. "You have an ED, and you feel guilty. You have an excuse to stop eating. So why won't you?" I know I won't, but I want to listen to him so badly! I know the positives to recovery far outweigh the negatives, but right now I don't especially care. ED is comfortable, restricting is comfortable. Eating anything I want without knowing whether I'm gaining is not comfortable.

Sorry for the negative post. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Good night, chicas!

Oh, and One Frugal Foodie is having an amazing, gigantic giveaway. Make sure you check it out!

Bleurgh.

Evening, chicas! I though my cold or whatever I had on Friday had gone away, but today it's back and 20 times worse! I have a fever of 102, runny nose, sore throat, aching muscles and a headache. Also, whenever I look up or to the side, my eyes hurt. I've been scaring myself by looking at familydoctor.org and convincing myself that I have periorbital cellulitis. Thankfully I have the day off tomorrow to recover.

Okay, so I have a problem I need to share. I gained weight on 3300+ calories, and I had to clean my plate at each meal to get enough food in every day. I couldn't leave the crusts of bread or scraps of a casserole, because I needed every calorie I could get and I was afraid that ED was telling me to save calories that way. But now, I can't get out of the mentality that I need to finish everything put out in front of me. Even if I'm really full, even if I don't like the food that much, I make myself finish all my food. I guess it's partially because I'm scared I'll get hungry, partially because I don't want to give ED a chance to butt in again, and partially because it's just a habit that I learned from 6 months of weight gain. But I want it to stop! I can't convince myself to do the "stop eating when you're full" thing. Any advice?

For breakfast, had an apple, plus this grilled CC and applesauce sammich.
Then a bowl of oatmeal topped with PB puffins, dark choco chips and raspberries. Yum-o! Actually, forget I said that because I can't stand Rachel Ray.

I didn't take a picture of my AM snack because it was just orange juice. I was really lazy for lunch so I ate the lunch I brought to school on Friday but never ate. It was a Pb sammich (I grilled it, of course), apple and carrots, a Zbar, and a Siggi's orange ginger yogurt. I quite liked the yogurt! Not overly sweet, just a hint of orange taste, with nice chunks of ginger throughout. Also a very nice thick texture.
This lunch was an example of not being able to stop after I feel full. I don't have much of an appetite and the yogurt made my stomach hurt, but I kept eating it anyway. Ugh ED is making me feel like a pig for this right now.

For my snack I wanted something to make my throat feel better. So I topped some strawberry Haagen Dazs sorbet with half a banana, and ate the other half on the side. I ate it in bed and it made me feel much better! Btw, the sorbet was really really good. I also had some unpictured PB puffins.

For dinner, I made chickpea peanut stew again. I think this is the third time I've made this and it's definitely one of my favorite recipes! All PB fans would love it. Didn't have any red pepper or zucchini so I just tossed in a few handfuls of spinach.
I also had a string cheese that I'm counting as part of dinner.

Sigh, I have quite a lot of snacking to do tonight. Still under calories by a lot.

Hope you all enjoyed your Sundays! And enjoy your day off tomorrow, US girls!

PB Loco!

Evening, all. First of all, thanks for all the advice you ladies gave me about telling my parents about my blog. My mom left for Florida this morning to visit her parents, and it would be a lot easier to me to talk to her rather than my dad. So I'll just wait until she's back on Monday, then I'll tell her!

School was delayed for two hours this morning, but the school day still seemed soooooooo long! It was the first day of a new semester so we got new schedules and classes. It's going to be a miserable five months, because I don't have friends in any of my classes except for one, pretty much. In all my other classes, the kids are... I don't want to say ghetto, but yeah, pretty ghetto! You'd think that because I'm such a gangsta we'd get along pretty well but that's not what happened :[ And I can't change my schedule around, because what would my excuse be? "I have no friends in my classes and I'm lonely"? Arrrg I guess I'll suffer through it.

I said I wasn't going to have as many food pics as I have recently and that's true today. I'll just show you the food highlights of my day! Part of breakfast involved my obsession, chocolate banana PB Loco. The rest of the blogging world can have their Mighty Maple because this stuff rocks my world. I put some on toast this morning. The other slice had cran apple butter but I didn't eat them together because that would taste strange. Sorry the pic is blurry, my arm wouldn't stop shaking!


Then lunch was boring, as were snacks. Dinnah was delectable though. I made Moroccan Chickpeas and Sweet Potatoes. This was one of the best recipes I've ever made! Such a wonderful blend of flavors and textures! Omnomnomnom.
With a piece of French bread

Yesterday I made Apple Pie Pudding from CCV. I wanted to use up some holly nog so I used half that, and half regular soymilk and it came out really well. The "nog" flavor mostly disappeared, but it left the pudding sweet enough that I didn't have to add any more sugar. Another successful CCV recipe!

In other news, the enchilada incident is back. I thought it was gone for a while because we bought the wrong ingredients and my mom was going to be in Florida. But no, my dad went to the store today and got all the right ingredients so he can make it sometime this week. My mom told him that I wouldn't "like" it (because I told her I was nervous about eating it) but he is going to make it anyway. I was really excited about the recipes I had planned for the rest of the week and he's just going to bump one of them so we can have the enchiladas that I don't even want to eat! Flour tortillas, heavy cream, tons of cheese.. it's giving me a headache just to think of the recipe. The worst part is that my mom won't even be home to support me or bail me out if I just can't eat it. Sorry for whining about this again but I just need to vent about how naive my dad it when it comes to my ED. I. Can't. Do. This.

Tomorrow is Friday! Hope it's a good one for all of you.

Heaven in a bowl!

Hello, lovely ladies. I hope you all had terrific Thursdays! Reading over last night's entry, I feel like I came off as an anorexic going "And these people are calling me so skinny but I don't see it because I'm so horribly fat!" That was not my intention at all, so hopefully you all got my point.

I had group therapy today, which I love. It doesn't exactly feel like therapy to me. It's more like me and my high school friends, sitting on comfy couches just chatting and discussing ways to solve our problems. Normal. That's why I like it so much.

For din dins tonight I made Chickpea Peanut Stew. I only used around 1 cup of broth. I used the max amount of peanut butter and subbed spinach for zucchini.
Oh my, it was so amazing! Chickpea and peanut butter are two of my favorite foods, who would have though that they would go so well together? It was wonderfully spiced, it would be really good to cut out the water and serve it as a curry with some rice. Or, use coconut milk instead of broth. Mmmm. I had it with the usual french bread with butter, and to keep the PB theme going, a peanut butter blisscrisp Jamfrakas bar for dessert.
My challenge for group this week is to hang out with my friends over the four day weekend we have coming. I do have friends, I'm just so out of it that I have no idea what I would do with them. Ack. My New Year's resolution was to quit being a cavewoman and socialize more, but it's so difficult for me! Or rather, ED has made it difficult for me. I'm always thinking about whether I picked a fun thing to do, if they're bored with what I'm talking about, if I'm not being funny enough. I used to love doing things with other people, but ED has isolated me so much that I'm scared to.

Finals start tomorrow. Booo. I'm pretty confident that I'll do well, but the idea of two two-hour tests does not excite me all that much. I have US History and English. Grand. Night!

My Apologies

Sorry for not posting much over the past few days. I just haven't been eating anything too exciting!

But this morning, I made this recipe from Recipezaar for Whole Wheat Cornmeal Molasses Banana Bread. That's a mouthful, hm?

It wasn't great. I was dissapointed because it barely rose at all, and I could barely taste the bananas. Not every recipe can be great, I guess. I also had a bowl of yogurt with strawberries and Kashi Honey Sunshine.

Then for lunch, I made a recipe from Greek Vegetarian Cookery called chickpea patties. They had potato in them too, and were really yummy!

I also made homemade hummus using my own recipe, which I'll post later if anyone is interested.
I really wished that I had some homemade pita to dip in the hummus to make it a totally Greek meal, but all I had was a sandwich thin. I also had plain yogurt, then an apple with PB.

Then we did a little shopping. We went to a Borders bookstore that's about to go out of business and they were having big sales to clear out the store. One of the few veg. cookbooks left was Vegan With a Vengeance, and I got it for half price. Heck yes!

We went to Target and I found these bars that I've never seen before. I think they're Canadian.

They were yummy, but tasted more like orange than apple to me. I could definitely taste the green tea though, and plus it has dark chocolate and good nutrition.

It's hard to believe that 2008 is nearly over, this year has gone by so fast! For New Years Eve tonight, I'm just staying home with my family. Our tradition is to order out for Chinese, then do a big jigsaw puzzle while we wait for the near year to come. What are you all doing for NYE?

I'm a bit nervous for Chinese, I hate fried foods. I'm trying to tell myself that just one night isn't going to make me fat, but ED is sort of strong now. I'd like to go into the New Year not worrying about food but I don't know if it will happen. I do hope that it happens for all of you girls though, each and every one of you deserves it!