Evening, lovelies! Thank you all for the support and welcome back you gave me after my last post!
Today has been pretty good except when I was walking home from school I got my house key stolen from me! I accidentally left the back pocket of my backpack open a little, and I think my key must've been hanging out a bit. I felt a tug on my shoulders and then this kid ran out from behind me with my key in his hands. By the time I realized what he'd done he was already 20 ft. ahead of me and I wasn't going to make a fool of myself running after him! I live in such a lovely town. But why? What is the point of stealing someone's key if you don't even know where they live? Thankfully we have a key hidden in my yard so I was able to let myself in that way.
Okay, ze eats! This morning, I tried Jemima's lemon oats! They were amazing, as if there was any question about that. Very creamy, and a perfect balance between tart and sweet. I used regular raisins and topped it with a few bluebs and it worked well. Jemima is a genius!
AM snack was almonds, and lunchikins was: A pecan-walnut butter and cran apple butter sammich, cauliflower, a Zbar, and a Chobby Wob. Mehh, I'm not a nut butter and jelly girl.
After school, I had yogurt with strawberries and pretzels dipped in PW butter. I got the pretzels at Whole Foods this weekend. They used to be a fear food but they're so delish!
Dinnaahh was eaten in the car on the way to therapy (which I'm getting to..). I made tofu "egg" salad using 1/4 block firm tofu, 1 tbs OO mayo, and generous sprinkles of dill, garlic powder, pepper, and poultry seasoning. I ate some of it over lettuce, and the rest I spread on a WW english muffin. T'was yummy, one of my favorite things to do with tofu. I also had half a nanner with sunflower seed butter and some carrots.
On Sunday night, I split a sweet and sara vegan s'more with my mommy. I was so proud of myself for eating this. At first I was thinking that I never would because it doesn't have nutrition info on it and is pure sugar. But I warmed it in the micro and my fears melted away!
And as part of my snack yesterday, I tried a goji moji Weil bar. I quite like Weil bars. It doesn't say so on the packaging, but I think Weils are raw and have short ingredient lists like larabars. This bar was delicious! I liked the big chunks of cashews, crunch crunch. I have a hard time identifying goji berries by taste in bars because I've never eaten one raw, but you could clearly see the dried fruit in every bite. Not tart like certain Lara flavors.
Sooo tonight I had to go to therapy with my mom. For the record, I hate my therapist and the treatment center I go to. They are way to focused on weight and treat me like a walking eating disorder. In my session tonight, my therapist was criticizing me for being too controlling of our dinner menu. I know I'm too controlling, and as you'll read later, I'm working on it. But when I or my mom tried to bring up the progress I've been making lately, she ignored it and continued to badger me on why I was so afraid of losing control. It makes me so angry that she pushes me so hard, yet won't even acknowledge the steps I've taken to beat ED! Arg I HATE HER! But after therapy my mom and I had a nice little discussion. We both agreed that I need to relax when it comes to dinner menu- planning, so next week we're going to start planning it together. This way, I won't have to take on huge fear foods all of a sudden, but I'll still be getting out of my comfort zone and eating less than my "ideal" menu.