Haha the title of today's post took me forever to come up with. It's been a long week and it takes a lot of mental capacity to come up with new acronyms every week! The frenzy means frenzied eating because granola is so darn good and I've gone too long without it.
I'm feeling a whole lot better, ED-wise, partly due to all your lovely comments! You all seriously have no idea how much it helps me to read such supportive words from people who know exactly what I'm going through. So thanks. I'm also feeling a lot better because I had group yesterday and I love my group girls. I told them that recently I've been torn between wanting to binge/restrict and recover, and they all completely understood how I felt. That alone made me feel almost back to normal. One of the oldest girls who has been through a crap load of treatment said "Be proud of what you've been through- how far you've come." It made me realize that so far in recovery, I've gained a lot more things than I've lost. Sure, I don't have my emaciated body anymore. But now I have my cello, ballet, friends, sense of humor, concentration, and many more things back. So why would I quit fighting now that I've just regained the things that are more important to me?
Mkayyyy, foodies. Among other things for breakfast I had a bowl of oats topped with powdered PB puffins, blueberries, and dark choco chips. Nom.
Lunch was a repeat of yesterday's, meaning a sandwich with yummus hummus and cream cheese. Also cauliflower, Chobby wob, and a Trek mix bar.
Before I left for my dietitian (which went well, scroll) I had an apple with cheese. But you all know what that looks like. When I got home, I had another snack inspired by the lovely Debbie's creative snack choices. We froze some leftover orange french toast, so I popped a slice in the toaster. Then I dipped it in cottage cheese + applesauce. Yum, I love having breakfast for snacks!
Dinner was one of the best I've had recently. I made feta cheese, kale, and red onions. I doubled the feta and tripled the OO, and just added the kale towards the end so it wouldn't get all limp. This was spectacular! Feta is my favorite cheese and I loved the taste of the onions together with the kale. I also had tofu cooked in EVOO with cumin and garlic and a slice of french bread.
Last night for my PM snack I had ice cream. I was craving chocolate sorbet and strawberry ice cream so I had both. The sorbet was as hard as a rock so I stuck it in the mircowave. I put it in too long though, because the top was all melty and soupy. I treated it as chocolate sauce and dumped it over my Ben and Jerry's and it was lovely. Tonight I plan on topping it with a caramelized nanner.
Now about my dietitian. I think that I've made it clear that I really hate the treatment center I go to (which my group is not a part of). They treat me as a walking eating disorder and put too much emphasis on weight. But, I like my dietitian because she treats me like a real person. I know that she cares about me and doesn't always just talk to me about my feelings towards food/exercise/cals/etc. She sort of tells me the same thing every time I see her though. I know where I need to challenge myself, and I don't want my parents to have to pay someone to tell me what I already know. I told her this today in the most polite way possible. She says that she, my therapist, and my ED doctor had a meeting and decided that I can stop going there in the near future! She said that she and my doctor will see me one more time in six months, and if everything goes well, I never have to see them again! Yipee! This is just another example of what I'd lose if I slipped again.
I'm going to go watch a movie now. Enjoy your evenings loves!