Friday, March 20, 2009

Tasty Granola Induces Frenzy!

Haha the title of today's post took me forever to come up with. It's been a long week and it takes a lot of mental capacity to come up with new acronyms every week! The frenzy means frenzied eating because granola is so darn good and I've gone too long without it.

I'm feeling a whole lot better, ED-wise, partly due to all your lovely comments! You all seriously have no idea how much it helps me to read such supportive words from people who know exactly what I'm going through. So thanks. I'm also feeling a lot better because I had group yesterday and I love my group girls. I told them that recently I've been torn between wanting to binge/restrict and recover, and they all completely understood how I felt. That alone made me feel almost back to normal. One of the oldest girls who has been through a crap load of treatment said "Be proud of what you've been through- how far you've come." It made me realize that so far in recovery, I've gained a lot more things than I've lost. Sure, I don't have my emaciated body anymore. But now I have my cello, ballet, friends, sense of humor, concentration, and many more things back. So why would I quit fighting now that I've just regained the things that are more important to me?

Mkayyyy, foodies. Among other things for breakfast I had a bowl of oats topped with powdered PB puffins, blueberries, and dark choco chips. Nom.

Lunch was a repeat of yesterday's, meaning a sandwich with yummus hummus and cream cheese. Also cauliflower, Chobby wob, and a Trek mix bar.

Before I left for my dietitian (which went well, scroll) I had an apple with cheese. But you all know what that looks like. When I got home, I had another snack inspired by the lovely Debbie's creative snack choices. We froze some leftover orange french toast, so I popped a slice in the toaster. Then I dipped it in cottage cheese + applesauce. Yum, I love having breakfast for snacks!

Dinner was one of the best I've had recently. I made feta cheese, kale, and red onions. I doubled the feta and tripled the OO, and just added the kale towards the end so it wouldn't get all limp. This was spectacular! Feta is my favorite cheese and I loved the taste of the onions together with the kale. I also had tofu cooked in EVOO with cumin and garlic and a slice of french bread.

Last night for my PM snack I had ice cream. I was craving chocolate sorbet and strawberry ice cream so I had both. The sorbet was as hard as a rock so I stuck it in the mircowave. I put it in too long though, because the top was all melty and soupy. I treated it as chocolate sauce and dumped it over my Ben and Jerry's and it was lovely. Tonight I plan on topping it with a caramelized nanner.

Now about my dietitian. I think that I've made it clear that I really hate the treatment center I go to (which my group is not a part of). They treat me as a walking eating disorder and put too much emphasis on weight. But, I like my dietitian because she treats me like a real person. I know that she cares about me and doesn't always just talk to me about my feelings towards food/exercise/cals/etc. She sort of tells me the same thing every time I see her though. I know where I need to challenge myself, and I don't want my parents to have to pay someone to tell me what I already know. I told her this today in the most polite way possible. She says that she, my therapist, and my ED doctor had a meeting and decided that I can stop going there in the near future! She said that she and my doctor will see me one more time in six months, and if everything goes well, I never have to see them again! Yipee! This is just another example of what I'd lose if I slipped again.

I'm going to go watch a movie now. Enjoy your evenings loves!


Jemima said...

Kiki you truly are an incredibly person - I'm so pleased you recognise how far you've come. I don't know if you realise it, but you've also gained a wisdom well beyond your years. I'm honoured to 'know' you <3

You inspire me so, so much. Thank you.

ChocolateCoveredVegan said...

You're so cute!!!

Laci said...

Nice hearing from you Kiki!
SOOO glad you are feeling better- I bet group therepy is a TON better than one on one with some creepy, menipulative adult who's "just trying to help" (even though they kinda are) but are not so encouraging, the way they act around the individual battling and ED. Anyways, if you need more inspiration, check out my blog for a mood-lifting support vid, it will knock your socks off! :D TGIF girl, enjoy your weekend!Much love, Laci ;)

Anonymous said...

Glad you're feeling bettah booboo (:

(Ahh, I love cutesy nicknames)

And that's fabulous news about the dietitian! Yay (: That just shows how much progress you've made!

And lastly, isn't French toast the BEST snackity snack!??

Mwah love <3

Sharon said...

That is superb Kiki, I'm so happy for you. You are one strong girl, and I totally love you!

And by the way, I love your tasty eats. Mmmmmm, droools. Dude, if you ever come to Canada, you're making my meals. =D

Pammy said...

Love your eats.

Im so glad you had a good group session. You are such an inspiration!!!

Lauryn said...

omg kiki youre doing SO SO well, i'm so happy for you! keep moving in a positive direction, you're so strong!

LOVE those eats, you're so inspiring in that area too =)

happy friday!

Jess :) said...

That's so awesome! So proud of you girlie. :) Woohoo for never seeing them again, tehehe. Lovely foodies, as you always do. Breakfast for snacks, MMM! Have a wonderful night. What movie you watching?
<3 jess :)

Anonymous said...

look how far you've come!! great job girlie!

emily. said...

That's great news about your dietitian. What a great way to start off your weekend! And I'm glad your group is so comforting.

Mmmm, hummus sammies are delicious! One of my favorite lunch time foods. And Chobby wob?! I'm seriously going to miss it when I go back to school. (The honey flavor is the best, imo.)

Come live with me anytime! When I'm off at school, my parents have nothing to do so they'd be happy to take care of another kiddo. ;)

Enjoy your movie and your weekend! <3

tinyirishdancer said...

Granola = tastay indeedys.
I want some now! Wah!

...brekkie tomorrah, methinks. ;]

I'm happied you're feeling bettah. And your foodies look spectacular, as per usual!

You genius, you.
I can foresee that you will do well in life. *nod*

Mhmm. And nummity french toastie!
Your dindin sounds lovely as well - sadly, not many people realize the splendifferousness that is cumin.

So, my chef, please?

Anyhow. Your positive dietitian's appt (CONGRATS!! *sooper huggles*) and yummay ice cream make me happy. You rock, chica.

Well, I be off to read/sleep, now! Luff ya, Keekers!! <3<3

Brooke said...

i am elated to see you happy and wise! that is the kiki i know and love :)

the girls in group are so right - think of the the things you have accomplished and gained and enjoyed since recovery! congratulations!

and regarding your dietitian, i was actually in the same situation not too long ago. i stopped seeing her (my first one) because every session was so predictable - discuss mp goal sheets, discuss feelings, and blind weigh-in. it became obvious she wasn't pushing me enough. so now i am seeing someone else who is geared more towards helping me gain the weight and eating enough. so i think it would be helpful to see her just to check up (like you mentioned) whenever you feel like you need that reassurance again :)

fro-yo and ice cream! great job! and it looks so delicious, mmm.

i hope you have a positive ballet class tomorrow! <3 you

cosmicwild said...

your right granola is super scrummy :) i like it with oat milkk or yogzz
you should be very happy with yourself, youv come so far and you have found who you are again and that is such an important thing, ed takes that away without even realising it and stuff :/

Maya said...

you have came so far and are such an inspiration to me and im sure alot of other girls look up to you. u r amazing. love you!

glad you like your dietitian,thats always great:) i hate when they are no good. theres nothing worse than a bad dietitian if you know what i mean.
well...great eats love the ben and jerry's!!

aussirish said...

hi girlie, you are awesome :) im so so proud of you for focusing on what youve gained in recovery instead of what youve lost ( although what youve lost is really what the ed has lost!!) and im so glad you can stop going to the centre soon :) its proof your kicking eds ass and moving on to better things :) its so inspiring!
have a nice night,
much love

Lexi said...

Just stumbled upon your blog, great eats! Can't wait to read more.

Aubrey Nicole Lee said...

Hi Kiki ;)

I am also suffering from anorexia bulimia. I am trying to recover right now, and I constatntly turn to the blogging community for support. I have read some of your posts, and I really can emphatize. It's good that you have finally found a genuine person (your dietician) who could understand you wholly, because that's very essential for people like us who are struggling from ED.

I hope that we could be friends. Just in case, feel free to visit my blog (it's quite new) at:

keep posting girl!

XOXO, Aubrey Nicole ;)

Laura: Learning to Love said...

Hey girl!
I just wanted to drop you a comment to tell you that you're really inspiring. I've been on the road to recovery for TOO long now, but seeing your great food creations is really motivating! Keep it up!

<3 Laura

Anonymous said...

Granola DOES induce a frenzy :)

Glad you're having a better day! You are an amazing girl - very inspiring!! Not to mention you eat the most delicious food! Have a fantastic weekend, sweetie!

Burp and Slurp~! said...

YES kiki! think of all the things you've recovered in life. you don't want to lose them again. you've come so far, and you've been such an inspiration to me. you're now stronger, wiser, and more beautiful from all your trials! I'm glad you like your therapy...sounds like you've got yourself a really awesomely supportive group! lovely eats as well! I love feta!

goodie said...

Hey Kiki!
I haven't commented before but I'm a loyal reader! - I too am trying to recover. I am SO HAPPY for you! You have come such a long way in your recovery! I'm just really excited for you :)
<3 Ashley

Tiny Tina. said...

I am so so proud of you girl! This is fantastic news, and only shows just how far you've come. You have even more health, life and happiness to look forward to!
Enjoy your weekend oxox

Baylee♥ said...

yayyy for happiness! :) just stay strong girl, i know you can do this! :)