Friday, March 13, 2009

Tyrannical Geckos Invade Finland

Happy Friday the 13th! Those Finlandians (??) sure are having a lot of bad luck, with those scary geckos and all. The geckos were tired of being mocked because of their Geico commercials.

I came home from school today to a very special delievery! My boxers from PJs for TJ! I got them in green.
Haaa I'm a horrible model! Anyway, you should all check out PJs for TJ because it's for a really good cause. The proceeds go towards helping underpriveledged kids stay out of drugs and gangs. And plus, my girl Erin is the CEO! I've been wearing them all day. Which says a lot because it's 66 degrees in my house right now.

I made the toppings for my oatmeal last night so I would have time to make it and I was sooo excited! I like chocolate covered pretzels. I like chocolate covered strawberries. Isn't there only one logical option? Dark chocolate covered strawberry pretzel oats! Omnomnom.

I don't know why I bother posting lunch. Oh wait, today my sammich was sunflower seed butter and HN Cheerios. My friends were quite disturbed by this. They said that a nut butter sandwich shouldn't crunch. HA.

Sorry that I've been eating almost the same thing for a snack every day! I had a whole wheat english muffin with cottage cheese + applesauce (go ahead, K), half a grapefruit, and sunflower seed butter. I like to slice grapefruits the wrong way so you can just pull the slices out with the membrane.

For dinner, I made nutty mushroom risotto. I've never made risotto before because it seemed like a lot of work. I admit that this was pretty labor intensive, a ton of stirring. It paid off though, because this was so delicious! I loved the crunchy texture the cashews gave, next time I'll tost them. We had some wine but I didn't want to ask my dad to open it, so I just used white grape juice. I think it made the whole risotto taste too sweet, so if I make this again I'll cut back on it or use real wine. It was sooooo creamy and delicious! I also had kale chippies.
This was a challenge food for me because I hate hate hate white rice! It bothers me to think that I'm not getting as much nutrition as I would be if I was eating whole grains. Also, I challenged myself to have more than one serving. The recipe says it serves 4, but I think it means 4 as a side. I put a quarter of the recipe on my plate and it was tiny, so I just took a third and it seemed like enough. I'm not letting myself calculate cals, but risotto is quite calorie dense so I'm sure that I ate a few hundred more cals that usual at dinner. I'm not feeling guilty now, I'm actually quite satisfied. Over the summer when I was in Italy, I usually ate risotto everyday and didn't gain on ounce. So why can't I eat it now? Exactly, no reason. I win.

My mood has been all over the place today. I started out feeling fat and depressed. Then when I was at school, one of my friends pinched my thighs and declared them as tiny. ED made me feel very proud of myself, of couse. At home when I was taking pictures of myself in the boxers ED was getting pissed off at me. I'm ashamed to admit it but I'm afraid that people will look at the picture and think my legs are fat. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid!!! Why am I so stupid? I think the day is going to end positively though, because of the dinner thing. I wish I could just have one day where my mood didn't depend on something as superficial as body size and calories. Then I would realize how lovely it is to live without ED and never ever go back.

I'm going to go start my new puzzle! Wheee. Nighty night!

22 comments:

Jemima said...

Congratulations on challenging yourself at dinner. I wasn't going to say this because part of me feels it's reassuring to 'ED' as well as to 'Kiki' , but while you are an absolutely beautiful girl, you still look tiny to me! So certainly do NOT feel guilty lovie - you need to nourish yourself and what's more, you DESERVE to. <3 you loads xxxxxx

Sharon said...

You are wonderful Kiki, and don't you forget that! Love your eats, and that is so awesome with the cheerios in the sandwich - crunch, crunch, crunch! Hope you have a splendid weekend, <3

tinyirishdancer said...

Daww.
Lookit you, Kiki. You're just adorabable. =]

Horrible model? Psh.
You could out-do Gemma Ward, no problemo.

Mhmm.
Pretzels?
Chocolate??
Strawberries???
Oats????

Tummy is rumblin', now. Must make dindin.

Okay, back!

Heehee. Cheerio sammie. Only you, Kiki. ;]
And I love your asian-style sandwich idea! Although I must replenish my depleted (*gasp*) PB supply first.

Wow. Shroomy risotto. yUmyUm.
I hear that it's killer on the arms, though. o.o

And..you went to Italy?
When? Where? I must know more!

*hug*
I sorry for mood-swinginess. ED is so exhausting, sometimes. But I know you have the strength to keep pluggin' away!

Anywhoz. Have a beauteous weekend, chica! <3 ya oodlezzz. =D

P.S. I always look forward to your zany Friday post titles! You make me giggle. ;]

P.S.S. Uh oh. Three days..?
*begins building anti-Kiki/Emily yogurt fortress*

Okie said...

You are so strong, dearie. :) It makes me smile so much!

ksgoodeats said...

Well...just because you said so...COTTAGE CHEESE ;) I actually didn't have any today, shocker I know!!

I love the idea of cheerios in a sammy! Oh and those oats?! Divine! Way to go on the risotto - it sounds incredible!!

You're not stupid at all! You're a gorgeous girl both inside and out - AND a fabulous model!

shelby said...

Cute shorts! =)

LOVE Chocolate Pretzel Oats, that combo is amazing.

Don't apoligize for having the same thing, eat what you love!

I'm so very proud of your for the dinner. I'm not a fan of white rice either but that dish sounds amazing. And you went to Italy?! I'm so jealous!!!

You are NOT stupid love, your just being manipulated by ED and you WILL overcome this. You look like a healthy, beautiful girl to me. Nothing to worry about =)

blueskyworld said...

girl, you're beautiful! I'm not kidding, I think you're really gorgeous with your hair and smile and your body!

I'm happy that you got to challenge yourself and beat that ED!
you can do it. i'm here for you!

and thank you for entering my giveaway ;]

Jess :) said...

Yummy eats today! Your dinner looks really tasty! I agree with Jemina, you are beautiful, but still look very small to me! You are not fat in the last. You are such a wonderful girl!
<3 jess :)
xxx

Peanut Butter and Jenny said...

oh amazing eats girl! Especially those oats.. you combined my two favorite bowls! chocolate covered strawberry and sweet & satlty! wooo.

I'm so proud of you for challenging yourself at dinner my love <3 don't let ED dictate your mood! stay strong and hang in the precious..much love! xoxo

ohsoravenous said...

'Course that's my doggykins! Isn't he adorkable?

Aw, Kiki, you're so cute. A Cheerio sammich? Really? (:

You don't need anyone to tell you that your legs do NOT look huge, because you know that already! It's just, sometimes ED feels like being a bumhole and he makes us doubt ourselves. I totally relate on that, actually - that's why I've avoided posting pictures of more than my face on my bloggy :/ But we need to get over that, because it only "feeds" ED and his lies.

<3

Laci said...

Kiki-
Um... "stupid" and "f*t" are like, the oppisite words to describe you sweetie! How could you say such a thing? How could you belive ED when he says such a thing? You are a highly intelligent, sweet, lovly, caring, humorous, adorable little lady- noe of those horrible thoughts are even close to true! I know it's challenging to NOT get your mood defied by body image and stress level, but please keep fighting it! You are so strong for ditching counting cals. not keep inproving that wonderful brain (mental state) of yours! Next time you look in the mirror, don't think "Ugh. I hate x about how I look" but rather " ah. I am so glad to be alive, beating ED Look at how far I've come, Kiki, I will win! :D" Yah, this is the right attitude! Try it out this weekend, maybe wearing your new 9unlucky friday the 13th ? :0) shorts? hehe, we'll just see about that! ;)
lots of love, Laci ;D

Brooke said...

you are beautiful kiki! tell ed to shut up right now - you are beaming with beauty, spirit, and glow :) and your lovely legs are perfect for dancing! keep loving you! you are perfect just the way you are sweetie.

yummy eats today! your mushroom risotto looks delicious. white rice is still a scary food for me (i had it for dinner actually!) but for some reason i will eat basamti. it has such a unique and nutty flavor, i love it so much. and your strawberry-chocolate oats? oh my goodness amazing :)

i hope you have a wonderful saturady! have fun at ballet (and smile!) love you <333

nourishing mornings said...

you are so cute! great job challenging yoursself at dinner. love the cottage cheese action yum! and those pretzel oats o man!

aussirish said...

hi girlie
im so proud of you for challenging yourself with din dins :)
and that pic of you is so adorable! you are absolutely beautiful kiki and NOT fat at all! ed is full of s*** and you are THE OPPOSITE of fat! im sorry you were feeling not so great today but tomoros a new day!
have a great night
much love
xxx

Livin' It said...

Lol. I absolutely love your title. Aw, those poor Finnish...

Your picture of yourself is so pretty. Not anyplace is huge or even slightly big at all. Ed is an ass. Don't believe 'im.

Yummiful eats you've got there. I like the idea of putting cheerios on sammies. (omnomnom)

Have a great weekend!

Burp and Slurp~! said...

congrats on overcoming ED today! you're amazing, and you have amazing eats! love that mushroom risotto! would love to try it sometime.
and hey, you're a GREAT model! love the care-free pose, the natural, sweet smile!
what's wrong with crunchy PB sammies? your friends are just missing out. haha!

Pammy said...

Delish eats as always.

I am really proud of you for challenging yourself at dinner. Rice is a fear food for me too. But its challenges like white rice that put you one step closer to recovery.

Much love
Pam

Stef said...

Such cute shorts! And cute little lady wearin em! TJ as in Tijuana? I should click on the link...I bet that would answer my q's lol. Psh your friends are missing out if their nut butter sandwiches aren't crunchy! I've never added cereal to mine (and I've never had sunflower seed butter) but I LOVE crunchy PB and AB! Hope your day ended up alright. You're not stupid!!

Tori said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tori said...

Hey - I just wanted to say thank you for the warm welcome. You seem like such a sweet person, I'm glad to "meet" you. I don't mean to make a superficial comment, but you are also very pretty, so don't be down on yourself. You make a better model than you think (though, I don't think it would be a good career choice, for anyone with a history of ED)and I can tell from the way you write - you are also quite smart and have a lot to offer the world. Its okay to not feel so great one day, or even for a couple days. As long as you get through it and keep pushing forward - better and happier days will come. And then when those days get here, you'll look back and be able to appreciate how strong you were and how much better life can be when you let it.

And whoever says nutbutter sandwiches shouldn't crunch is obviously a fool. Nut butters with some crunch is always good. My mom thinks I'm weird because I almost always put something crunchy in my sandwiches. :shrugs: Everyone likes what they like. saying its weird is the debatable part.

Enjoy your weekend!

Gaby said...

aww you look like a beautiful and perfect ballerina! You're so cute!
And your food creations just keep getting better and better. I don't even know where to start trying them all out!

Anonymous said...

I've been reading your blog for a while and I need to say that you're an awesome writer. =) Stay strong.
I'm just wondering what this "tyrannical geckos invade finland" -thing means. : D I would really like to know. x)