Ello poppets. Hope you're all had a nice Wednesday! I really felt like it was Friday and I almost cried when my friend told me that we still had two more days to go. I need to add something amusing to my weeks, they just drag on forever!
This morning I woke up approximately 15 minutes before I actually needed to leave for school. Stupid alarm clock didn't go off. So I got dressed and did my hair (read: ponytail) and practically ran downstairs to have breakfast! I remember that whenever I used to run late I would skip breakfast over doing my hair or something. But now I know that I can't get through my mornings without some foodie in mah bellay so I made time to eat breakfast. While getting my things ready, I wolfed down una manzana con queso and a Zbar.
In the car, I had an unpictured PB sammich. I wish that I could've made an egg or something for more protein but I had no time. This make-shift breakfast held me over pretty well.
Then AM snack was usual. As was lunch, but I have a picture anyway. T'is a sunflower seed butter sammich, cauliflower, Wallaby peach down under yogurt, and another Zbar. Heehh.
My afternoon snack consisted of cottage cheese + applesauce on an english muffin, PB, and a Zico coconut water. Every time I saw another blogger with this I would go "Where did you find that? I've been looking everywhere and I can't find it!" But then I looked in the juice aisle of Whole Foods and it was there. Duurrr. It was really good! Very refreshing and "clean" tasting, and not rich like coconut milk is. I'll definitely buy it again.
And din dins was 2 slices of whole foods 4-cheese pizza. It was nummikins, I like when I can detect different kinds of cheese besides mozzarella. On the side, I had a salad made of kale/iceberg, strawberries, feta, kalamata olives, and OO & vinegar. I love strawberries and feta! Raw kale is rather strange though.
Oh wait one more peekture. This is totally a recylced pic but on the way to orchestra I had toast with sunflower seed butter and HN Cheerios. My mom said "Why do you eat so much?" and it didn't bother me!
Like I mentioned above, my orchestra started again tonight. The first season was from sept.-december and we had a really long break so some kids could play in the all county/ all state orchestras. Tonight was the first rehearsal of our second season. It went well, we got some decent music but nothing too memorable. I actually talked to a new girl, which is very rare because I'm awful at socializing. And she didn't run away like I always think people will! I was also talking to one of my friends that I met in the younger orchestra last year. She was kind of poking fun at me because I turn pink really easily when I laugh or get nervous. It's so embarrasing! But anyway, she said "At least it's better than the gray color you were last year." I've never told her about my ED, but I think it would be hard to not notice how emaciated I looked. My usual excuse whenever people bring up how I looked last year is something along the lines of I did ballet four times a week, that's why I always looked so exhausted and sidetracked. I recited that again tonight and my friend said "Oh, so is that why you were so skinny?" This made me really uncomfortable. I just said yes, because I don't feel comfortable telling people I'm not close with about my ED. Of course, it made me happy to hear that all my hard work I put into losing weight paid off. But now I'm dismissing those thoughts.
On the car ride home I started to think about how far I've come since last year. I was still sitting in orchestra one night a week. Last year, I sat shivering in the back row, hidden underneath my baggy sweater. Instead of focusing on the music, I was thinking "How am I going to burn off those 27 calories without Mom noticing?" or "How much of my dinner did I scrape into my napkin?" This year, when I'm playing, food is the last of my worries. I can actually concentrate on the music, and OH, I can laugh now! Even if I'm laughing at myself for getting hopelessly lost in the music, I can laugh. And it feels really nice.
Sorry for not doing much commenting tonight, I have to type up a works cited thingy. Night!