Ballet!

Hey hey, blogitas. Hope you enjoyed your Saturdays! Saturday is my favorite day because it's the only day where I really have no obligations and can do whatever I want.

I decided to change up my breakfast today. You might've noticed that I like to eat a lot for breakfast? I usually have fruit, a carb-y baked thing, a protein like cheese, and then oatmeal. I was thinking about it yesterday and it's quite unbalanced. I think that I tend to eat more volume than I should because I'm afraid of going hungry, which I suppose is common in anorexics. Of course I always end up feeling stuffed, but I hate feeling hungry after a year of starving myself. Anyway, today I decided to break ED's rule and have a smaller volume breakfast to see if it would hold me over. First I had an egg and an apple

Then Jemima's lemon oats again! Because they're too good. I added extra yogurt this time and topped it with blueberries and pecan walnut butter. Nom. I have to say that this didn't hold me over for as long as my normal breakfasts do. But maybe I was just super hungry this morning, so I'll give it a few more days.

A ha! For once I took a picture of my AM snack. I don't like to think about eating a snack so early, so I usually just have nuts so I can just eat them quickly and forget about it. They aren't too photogenic either.

Then I went off to ballet. Ballet was rather triggering for me today, unfortunately. Last year my class was working with an older class for our recital and one of the girls became my 'thinspo'. She's very thin, but I'm almost certain that she doesn't have an ED. Usually I don't see her because she's in the class after mine, but for some reason she came to my class today. Baaaaddd. When we were standing in front of the mirror I compared my almost-all the way touching thighs to hers, with a big gap between them. I almost cried. Thinking about how much I wanted to lose weight again interfered with my dancing. If only those damn mirrors weren't there! Usually I think being in ballet is healthy for me, but today was one of those days where it was obviously screwing up my recovery.

I don't know how this started, but my sister considers it some sort of tradition to go out to eat every Saturday. I hate fast food, it makes me feel so yuck! I got a vegetarian bowl (rice, black beans, lettuce, salsa, guac) from Maui Tacos again.

When I got home I had plain yogurt with cheerios and raspberries, which I considered part of lunch still.

My official snack was popcorn with grapefruit and more cashews hiding in the bowl.

Dinner was delectable. I made corn cakes, because we have a lot of frozen corn in the freezer. I used half white wheat flour and half AP and it turned out fine. I was expecting that these would turn out crispy and sort of like cornbread, they were more like really thick pancakes. I'm awful at making pancakes so they were undercooked, but it's okay because I love batter-y pancakes! I think next time I'll use 1/2 c less corn so they spread out more and cook more evenly. I had two + another I ate after the pic. I also had a really random salad of iceberg, kale, carrots, mushrooms, fried tofu and papaya poppyseed dressing.

Okay, this is a long post so I'll wrap it up. Enjoy your Sundays!