First meal out of my control

So I had my semester exams today. US History was a breeze, I knew the answer to every single question. English was a blower though. The multiple choice was pretty easy, but I suck at essays and we had to write three. I didn't have time to finish one of the conclusion paragraphs, so that'll cost me some major points. I predict that I'll get a C on it. I'm slightly worried (by that I mean very very extremely worried) about it because I haven't gotten anything below an A on my report card since the sixth grade, and want to keep it like that. It's part of my perfectionist personality. I think I have a 92% in English now, so if I did as poorly as I think I did on my exam, I'll be getting a B. Well, two exams down, three to go.

As part of my snack today, I tried a new bar! I get very excited when I see the new product sticker at my supermarket. The store I go to, Giant, has it's own brand of organic foods called Nature's Promise. It's fab because I don't have to go all the way to WF to get healthy, unprocessed foods. Today I had the "granola honey roasted snack bar".
It was good. Very honey-y. And lots of nice chunks of nuts and dried fruit. Plus a very good ingredient list made of just honey, oats, fruit and nuts. If you live near a giant (or stop and shop because I think they're owned by the same company) check these out. I got several other flavors that I'll be trying over the course of a few days.

This past weekend my mom and I decided that tonight my mom would make my very first meal out of my control. Ever since my ED started, I've been either cooking my own food, or ordering my own food from a restaraunt that I know the calories of. I do enjoy cooking, but I think it's a bit obsessive to do my own every single day, when sometimes I'm so tired that I just want to collapse in a heap, just to avoid unknown calorie counts.

My mom decided on Zucchini Patties from the Nebraska Life Cookbook (my dad was a Nebraskan until he joined the navy and my mom stole him away from his small town, to my grandparents' dismay). I admit, I was having a bit of a freakout. First because I hate out of season fruits and veggies. When I have the choice, I like to eat seasonably but I always end up eating out of season stuff because my parents buy it and I want to use it up. Also, it involved white flour. And it was fried on vegetable oil. It was originally supposed to be in butter but my mom changed it, bless her. It made 10.
So I sat down to the table thinking crud crud crud calories calories calories. But then I did a sort of self-talk thing. I thought that if the rest of the world can eat whatever they want every day without counting calories, so can I! Why should I keep myself from living life to the fullest my restricting myself from so many foods? And then I ate three patties. And I didn't care. The world kept spinning. I win ED, go hide in a corner and weigh some carrots. I also had a slice of toast with homemade apple butter! Made by Earl. I think that's my great uncle of something. But he sure can make some apple butter.
The zucchini patties recipe is a good one, I'd post it if I had come up with it myself. I think my mom only used about 1 tsp of oil per barch, so they were more of a source of healthy fats than deep-fried. I'd like to try them again perhaps with whole wheat flour. Then I can post the recipe, yay!

Good night/good very-early morning!