I thought that ED had gone away yesterday, but surprise, he came back today. In my family we make a weekly menu of what we're going to have for dinner every day of the week, and I'm usually always the one to make it. I like being able to pick recipes that I know are healthy and moderate in the calorie department. Today, my dad decided to make the menu for two days this week, without asking me if I would like to eat what he choose. He plans to actually make these things for us too. What he choose was vegetable barely stew, which I'm okay with, and something along the lines of "creamy double cheese enchiladas". I looked at the actual recipe and it involves 2/3 cup heavy cream, 2 cups cheese.. Something broke inside of me and set ED loose, and I went crazy. And by crazy, I mean sitting on the floor sobbing, screaming into a pillow, and curling into a ball.
My parents were upstairs and somehow didn't hear any of this! My dad came downstairs a bit later when I was calmer and saw my tear-streaked face. He asked what was wrong and I said that I didn't want the enchiladas. I was expecting that he would be understanding and recognize that I've been challenging myself a lot lately, and switch it to something else. But instead he said "What's wrong with it? Are you vegan now or something?" Arg! He doesn't get me, or my ED, at all. He thinks that since I've gained weight, I'm now recovered and expects me to just "eat normally" when I'm not capable of that. Ah, I doubt any of you want to hear this but I just really need a vent.
Okay, breakfast. Breakfast breakfast.


Around lunchtime I was watching Barefoot Contessa and Ina was making sandwiches with grilled peppers. That sounded good to me, to I grilled up a few slices of green pepper on my George Foreman. I put those in a sammie with hummus and leftover clementine tofu and grilled it. Very yum indeed.

And a couple of you asked what Euro-style yogurt was like. I can't compare it to TJ's greek yogurt because I've never tried that. The carton the Euro-style yogurt comes in says "thick and creamy". Mine was anything but that!

For dinner, I sort of made Bang Bang Couscous from See Bride Run, which is now Healthy Tipping Point. I say sort of because I made a lot of modifications. I didn't have enough couscous, so I doubled the garbanzos. I also used green peas instead of edamame because I don't know where to buy that around here. I added chopped black olives too. Last, I used feta instead of goat cheese because that's my personal preferece. So barely the original recipe, but very good! Esp. topped with pine nuts.


16 comments:
Yay Kiki I'm so glad you liked the pudding!!! Mmmm and now I'm craving it too... I like your description-- you're right, it really does taste like muffin batter :O)
agh. i know how you feel with your dad and the enchilada deal.. mine is the same way this morning he made a hugeee breakfast of bacong and eggs and pancakes & although they were all gone by the time i came down he was like "erin do you want me to whip up some new batter and go get more bacon and make you some?" and i was fine with my idea already set in my head for my little flat wrap with pb&j but he was just not understanding and kept asking what the problem was why i didn't want HIS food.
gah! annoying. but its allll good!
the rest of your day looks delish except for that gross runny yogurt. COMPLAIN COMPLAIN!
=)
<33 erin
ps. how do i get my blog more noticed!? :(
i dont want to give up on it already
I love soup for breakfast too! Split Pea is my favorite.
And that pudding sounds really delicious, I love CCV's recipes.
So many yummy foods. Love your additions to your oatmeal!
I am sorry that you got all upset about the enchiladas and that your dad doesn't understand how you are feeling. Just use it as motivation. You don't want to get that upset about some dinner ever again, right? I know you can do this Kiki. Good luck and we are here for you!! :) Have a great night :)
<3 jess :)
xxx
Aww Kiki, I'm sorry that your day didn't go as well. I hate it when ED creeps up on us just when we think that we've got him beat. And I definitely understand how hard it can be when your family doesn't understand what you are going through. Sometimes my parents think that if I just start eating more again, and gain back the weight that I will be all better. I have actually been working on recovering mentally first, before working on physical recovery. But it really helps when you have a good support team, who can relate to you.
The pudding looks so delish too, I am thinking of trying some soon. All your recipes are amazing.
Hope tomorrow goes well for you and you have a chance to really knock ED down!
~Raina
I'm sorry about your sticky situation. But really hang in there, your dad may not understand the situation, and I'm sure he means no harm!
you're so young but so creative with cooking!!!! I should really try to make my meals more creative but somehow I always end up eating same thing everyday.. heh =/
i really want to try that pudding from ccv~
im sorry ed tried to ruin your day kiki. i also plan my meals for the week with my parents but because im a vegetarian (i cook for myself) we make very similar meals separately. maybe you could remind them of your vegetarianism and try to plan each day according to their tastes too? i know they are cheese enchiladas but instead you could ask if your parents if they would be interested in making chicken enchiladas so you could use soy chicken strips? this is defeating the whole purpose because we are not supposed to fear any food (ideally speaking) but thats unrealistic right now! your progress is amazing but this is still very new and scary! hang in there sweetie im always here for you :)
i love tj split pea! and your ginger-graham oats oh my goodness! i love crystallized ginger. but im sorry about the ygourt. i have never tried it before but you can definitely bring it back to tj and they will refund your money.
sweet dreams!
p.s unfortunately i do not dance anymore (i stopped after high school) but i was a dancer from the age of 3 on. i danced competitively in ballet, pointe, lyrical, jazz, tap, partner, solos, duets, etc - in high school i also experimented with dance team but i quit! i would love to talk more about dance with you :) it was always a dream of mine to pursue on but sadly it wasnt meant to be.
graet eats,that pudding looks so good! must try that. and thanks again for all the support:) love you
aww i'm sorry about the enchilada incident :( i think it would be great for you to try and eat with your family if you can though. it's only ED who is stopping you, really. perhaps you could make a nice side dish to accompany the meal, that way you might feel a little less out of control but you'd still be able to eat with your family. and you could fill most of your plate up with the side that you'd cooked if the enchiladas became too overwhelming. i hope you work it out though :) xx
i found the banana bread recipe and it's posted after the photos now btw. your eats today look so tasty. i love couscous, i might have to try that one out XXX
Oh I completely understand your enchilada story! I always pick out the dinner b/c my parents always ask me what I want for dinner! I think it's a man thing- they just don't understand our emotions and all! My dad is the same way!
Yummy sandwich- I love Ina Garden! Enjoy your day off, Lucky girl!
my parents are actually the opposite! even with every little changes I make, they still think I am deeply ED and don't really appreciate the little things I challenge myself with.
but your eats today are super! yum yum yum esp the candied ginger in your oatmeal!
hi hun,
the pudding looks fantastic :)
im sorry your dad doesnt have a better understanding of what an ed is about, would you consider talking to him about it or asking your mum to?
hope u have a fun monday,
love u
xxxx
I'm sorry about the enchilada incident. I understand how people can think that just because you've gotten to a healthier weight, that everythings "cured". Its like, wow, this is a MENTAL DISORDER! Emphasis on mental. I know you're dad didn't mean to hurt you though! Did you try to explain the issue/struggle to him? Im sure he'd be willing to listen.
Ugh I do not like liquidy and watery yogurts! Even if theyre not greek, they should still have some structure to them. I think Brown Cow and Stonyfield always stay nice a thick.
Love ya!
Post a Comment