Monday, December 8, 2008


I love hanging out with the people in my orchestra. They're so.. different! They have much more personality that the other bubbleheads at my school. We had a long rehearsal today, and I love to play my cello, so that put me in a good mood. Afterward, my director drove us to Chipotle! She's so cool, it barely even seems like she's a teacher when she's outside of school. I wasn't even really thinking too much about the food while I was ordering, even though I know that everything at Chipotle has tons and tons of cals (healthy ones though). I got a vegetarian burrito. I actually managed to finish almost all of it! They're massive, but sorry, no pics :[ One of the girls I was eating with is really skinny, so I figured if she could eat a whole burrito and not blow up over night, so could I. I was actually doing a really good job of socializing (not typical) and was laughing a lot so I wasn't thinking of cals. I'm so proud of myself for tonight!

But now that I'm home, my guilt is starting to set in. I haven't stopped eating tonight.. all my eating is so mechanical. My mom watches me to make sure I eat everything, and I know I have to eat, it's not a choice. Tonight I feel angry at myself for not trying to get around eating my night time snack. I swear I can feel myself gaining weight. I wish I could have the same positive attitude I have about food all the time.

On the flip side, I tried carmelized banana oats, a la Jemima of How I Mash Potato. It was so insanely good!!! The banana didn't even taste like a banana.. it just tasted like warm, sweet, buttery, perfect deliciousness. I added some dark choco chips too. Mmmm.

And here's an inside view of one of the whole wheat popovers I made yesterday.
I hope I feel better by tomorrow.


Sharon said...

Gotta love those carob chips <3
At first, before buying them, I did a quick google search, and on veggieboards, they were saying how they were not good. Whatever, I ended up buying them, AND I LOVE THEM TO DEATH. :)

nourishing mornings said...

great job eating out at chipolte, that is a great step, i know how hard it can be, but you need to keep fighting it and you are. you are doing so great kiki!
love the oats they look delicious.

Maya said...

good job eating your snack despite not feeling up to it. thats what you need to do just keep pushing forward and fighting ed! those nana oats look amazing i need to try out that caramelized nana thing

Anonymous said...

I think I will try the banana thing like you suggested. Great job with Chipotle. Snaps for Kiki! *snap snap*