Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Video Post!!!

Hello, lovelies. I’m baaaack. With a video post, obviously. I felt soooooo awkward while filming this. I kept thinking “What are you doing? Why are you still talking about this???” Hence strange expressions and really really awkward and long silence around 3:48. I had some notes in front of me, you see, and was collecting my thoughts. Hehh. Erase it from your memories.

video

And here are some of the 365 days of pictures I've taken.

Tulip in my yard

My kitty Shadow, stuck inside a plastic bag. She for some reason has an irrational fear of them so she was running all around the house trying to get the bag off of her. I thought it was hilarious until I had to spend half an hour getting her out from underneath my bed so the bag wouldn't suffocate her!

And this is a thing in my living room that holds our firewood. I thought it was pretty how the sunlight shone through the cobwebs (shows how much we use our fireplace!) and reflected off the copper container.

Okay, I think that covers it. I'll be seeing you around! Love you all loads, night.

31 comments:

Jemima said...

I don't understand how in only 14 years you've acquired so much wisdom and insight. You are an amazing amazing person and I will miss your posts like crazy but at the same time I'm so happy that you're doing what's right for YOU! Ultimately I agree with you that photographing meals isn't normal..but I think maybe right now I NEED that accountability in order to keep moving foreward - but I totally agree that you're right; it shouldn't be a 'for ever' thing. <3 you so so much and you are so beautiful. Inside AND out. Facebook me! I'm under 'Jemima Owen' xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Laura: Learning to Love said...

Kiki you are the most adorable person EVER! I absolutely loved when you said "it's a part of my life that needs to come to a close". SO true!
I tried finding you on facebook but was unsuccessful! Add me if you would like!
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/profile.php?id=1487430110&ref=profile

<3

ohsoravenous said...

You know I totally support your decision <3 Your recovery comes first. Anyway, I'm only a Facebook message away!

Much love <3

havefaith4ever said...

I completely understand your decision. Kiki, you are a beautiful, young girl and you have your entire life ahead of you--I want you to focus on yourself and becoming recovered. I know you can do it. You've been doing so well and I hope you continue to go for it. Life's so worth it Kiki. I will def. be keeping in touch with you girlie. I am always here for you!
<3 jess :)
xxx

Laci said...

Kiki,
what an amazing video post! I am So sorry you feel like blogging is a chore, not a past time- while I can see your point, I am quite disappointed you're leaving it behind- yet, this could also mean you're ready to move on from worrying/publicly documenting your personal struggles/disorder, and which forth concludes to you can and are moving ahead of the game and no longer want or need to think about your ED or food so much under pressure...
Well,I have been blessed to have met you- hope to stay in touch hun! BTW, you are too cute in your little summer tank and "cooleo" voice- I think my voice changed since ED, same for you? Keep feeling strong, because you are amazing!
xoxo
Laci ;-)

Sharon said...

Awh, Kiki, you are such an adorable and sweet person. I just want to give you a hug! (Sending virtual hug) -lol- But I completely understand where you are coming from. And I support your decision. You are doing this for yourself, and in some ways, I do agree that having to photograph your food is somewhat feeding into that obsession about food. I'm glad you had a good break to ease your mind from stepping away from blogging. I'm so happy that you have made such great progress, and wonderful job on going on that Friday. Oh, Kiki, you are wonderful! I wish you all the best. I'm so happy to have "met" you from this community. You are such a sweet girl! <3 <3 <3

tinyirishdancer said...

*huggle*

Oh Kiki.
First of all, I'm going to gush about how absolutely beautiful you are (in the LEAST creepy way possible o.O), both inside and out. And your smile is particularly adorable. =]

Secondly: OH.MI.GAW. your cat is cuhyoooot! They're always gettin' themselves into trouble, no?

Alrighty. Now for the serious stuff..(I know. Ick.)

I'm gonna miss ya, hon, but I completely understand why you need to take a break from this.
I've actually been feeling a lot of the same things, regarding blogging, but you articulated them in a way that's far more mature than I ever could..

Hit me up on Facebook whenever you need/want to talk. About anything. Seriously.
From yogurt to puppies. ;]

Take care, chica. Your strength and wisdom are already so clear at such a young age. You'll go far, no matter what you choose to do with your life.
Luff ya tonz. =]
<3<3

Nancy said...

Hi Kiki! I missed your posts! Grr! How come my computer won't let me watch your video? Not fair.

Aww, your cat is so cute! An lovely photos :)

emmyster said...

Kiki,

As much as were going to miss you, you brought up a lot of really great points. I think you are making the right move - entirely.

And I'm glad you went out Friday, hope it was a lot of fun.

Well, I look forward to you post next, whenever that may be.

In the mean time, have fun and stay health girlie!

Loveyababe.

-E

Stef said...

Hi hon! I totally agree with Jemima...how are you only 14?? So insightful! I'll definitely miss your posts, but I know you're doing what is best for you!I completely understand your rationale for stepping back from blogging, I think each one of us is at a different stage and it's great that you are in tune with your feelings enough to recognize that blogging was stressing you out instead of helping! I do hope you won't fall completely off the face of the blogworld, try to keep us updated every now and then, even just to pop in and say hi! In the few short months I've been blogging you have been SUCH a huge help and support, so thank you for everything! Keep rockin that cello and doing your ballet, I hope that your depression eases up and your ED stays away! <3 u! ANYTIME you want to talk please email me: steffrancisco@gmail.com

LOVE YOU GIRL! Best of luck in everything!

Faymondo! said...

You are so beautiful and mature kiki it has absolutely taken my breath away, as cliche as that sounds. Your video post made me feel all emotional! As you already know I'll support your decision with blogging and recovery and general life, wherever it takes you, and I think it's clear to see from all the comments you've already received that the whole community is going to feel the same. I'm happy for you making a decision that feels right, hopefully it will be just as freeing as you hope and bring all the progress that you deserve..:)
I actually have it scheduled into my day today to send you a long message, because I didn't want to leave you hanging another day without a reply! So expect one waiting for you at some point.
Love you lots mrs fierce xxxxxxx
Oh that photograph of your cat is soooo cuteee and quirky haha:))

Maya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lexi said...

I agree with Jem, I can't believe you're only 14! You are so wise and I'm proud of you for all of your accomplishments lately. I'm going to miss your posts, but I think giving blogging a big break is what is the right thing for you right now and I'm really glad you've realized and recognized and honored that fact.

Please, please stay strong. You are worth it. Friend me on Facebook, please! Lexi Brooks.
Love,
Lexi

shelby said...

You're not 14!!! You are so wise and beautiful. Wow.

Know that I'm always here if you need anything!

VeggieGirl said...

We'll miss you in the blogging world!!

aussirish said...

hi sweetheart,
wow, kiki, you are such an amazing, wise, sweet, courgageous, strong young woman!! seriosly, your only 14 and youve got such an amazing insight that most people in their twenties lack. I fully support the decisions you made regarding your blog, of course il miss you, but you need to do whats right for YOU. I agree with you on the pictures of food issue, i dont feel fully comfortable with it either and it can cause some stress.
I think your an amazing person and i know you can and will keep moving forward in recovery! definetly find me on face book, id love to keep in touch, youve been such a great supportive friend!
take care sweetie,
love you lots
xxxxx

amy. said...

Kiki you are not only ADORABLE and beautiful beyond belief, but so well spoken, insightful, intelligent, and articulate! I adore you. I truly loved watching this video--I didn't want it to end :) I commend your intuition and recognition over your own struggles and what will work best for you. I also l-o-l-ed at the "mental illness swapping" comment you made, hahaha! Love it !

I wish you the best of luck, you deserve to live your life free of the burden from ed. Love you!

Neela Marijana said...

hey love,
thank you for letting us know what is going on and reaching out. you are so mature kiki. SMILE!!! life is so beautiful and you are so yound, dont let yourself down. you can fight through this.
be strong
xxx

K from ksgoodeats said...

I will certainly miss your posts!! You are such a mature 14 year old, I'm in awe! I'm wishing you all the best, girlie :)

dailydulcie said...

Kiki love!! I loved this video post.. you are so adorable. I was smiling the entire time!

I’m glad you did a lot of activities in order to get out of your depression!! Especially going out Friday night :D

I hope you enjoy your break from blogging. I just want you to be happy.. so if this is going to make your life better then I’m so glad you decided to do this!

I will miss reading your blog :(

I wish you all the best <3

julie said...

hi i have been reading your blog for a while bvut have never commented, but i just wanted to say that you will definently be missed :) love ya

Baylee♥ said...

YOU ARE AMAZING, GIRL! Ive missed you!!

Tiny Tina. said...

BAHH. The video won't work for me! =(
Reading everyone's elses comments, it seems you're leaving..
Well Kiki, I think that if this will help you move forward, then it's definitely something you need to do. You have made leaps and bounds, and will continue to do so. =) And THANK YOU for being so supportive, inspiring and reassuring to me.
Facebook me about whatever, whenever! ;]
Lots and lots of love!

theskinnyplate said...

Kiki, you have been missed. You are wise beyond your age. Wish you all the best!! Do what is best for you.

jesslikesithot said...

Your kitty is so cute and I think it's great you are cutting off whatever is adding extra stress in your life!! I'll miss your fun recipes but I COMPLETELY understand if it's causing you more anxiety!! You are at the point where you should be able to enjoy food, and eat what you want!! Don't let anything else change that!!

But please let me know if you make the pear oats!!! I would love to hear what you think! :)

burpandslurp said...

hey, kiki! I knew there was a reason I loved you! You're so cool and adorable, even more so in person! well, not exactly, but close enough...
I'm really really sad about your decision to step back from blogging, but only for selfish reasons! I'm glad though that you discovered what is right for you and have the courage and determination to do whatever it takes to speed up your recovery. I wish you all the best, and I hope we can still keep in touch! A rest in blogging doesn't mean you have to drop all the friendhips you made through blogging, right?

Briana said...

Even though I've never commented on your blog before, I think I need to today. Just from hearing you talk, you seems like you have so much knowledge and are mature. I bet that this can cause some issues, I know being mature when your young isn't always the easiest thing in the world. I completely understand where you are coming from and respect your decision to take a break from blogging. Blogging is something that should be fun, not a chore. Best wishes :)

Baylee♥ said...

hey girl! i changed my blog address!! not sure if it will automatically switch over in the blogroll links or not - but it is http://caffeineandlaughter.blogspot.com/

love you!
baylee

Megan said...

aw kiki, youre so cute. you have lots going on in your brain for a 14 year old!!

i know that even for me, someone who hasnt really dealt with a serious ED, gets stressed about posting and taking pictures of everything and not being able to just EAT as soon as i want to! you are totally in the right to do this.

<3

emily. said...

Sorry it took my so long to comment! (Horrible, I know!)

You're such a wonderful girl- really, you've taught me so much! Sometimes, when I want to give up, I just click on your blog and read some of the wonderful posts you have. They're so inspirational. No matter what you're faced with, you always come through! I totally understand (and support!) your decision and I hope that we can keep in touch. <333

Good luck! Mucho amor, mi chica!

curlytop said...

Kiki,

I just did my first video post too! I agree. I felt QUITE awkward talking to an empty room, but what the heck! I've done weirder things before. :D

You should def. do what's right for you right now. Good luck sweetheart!

With Love,

Emily