Breaking news!

Okay guys, I'm so proud of myself. I've been practicing Wii sports tennis since Christmas almost every day. And I'm happy to say that today, I reached pro level! Chicka chicka yeah! 1021, mmmhmm. Now I feel really lame because the rest of you are posting about how you just ran eight miles.

In other news, did you know that Santogold changed her name to Santigold? Aparently some jeweler called Santo Gold threatened to sue her if she didn't change her name. I'm sad because Santogold has a much nicer ring to it than Santigold.

My bowl of oats this morning was topped with the last of my freeze dried acai-bananas, blueberries, and dark chocolate chips. Yummers. Must buy more freeze dried nanners.

As usual I have no picture of AM snack. For lunch, I had the usual PB sammich, a minneola, a TLC bar, and Stonyfield Farms "people's choice" pomegrate berry yogurt. There was some online voting a couple months ago for a new yogurt flavor. I voted for one of the whole milk flavors but obviously more people voted for non-fat. This was nice, I liked that the fruit was mixed in rather than clumped at the bottom.

I was hungryhungryhungry after school today, which means I had popcorn! I topped it with cinnamon and had a bowl of plain yogurt w/ bluebs for some purple.
I also had a multi grain rice cake with a tbs better N PB and applesauce. Much better than plain! I don't know why I'm holding it so awkwardly in the pic.

My dad was working late again tonight, which means that me, my mom, and my sister had to have breakfast for dinner! We made gingerbread pancakes using a Hogdston Mills mix. I had one topped with maple syrup, one with a bananarama, and one that I added applesauce to after the pic. Pancake day was yesterday but they still tasted delicious today!
While sitting down to blog I had a string cheese, that I'm counting as the protein part of my dinner.

This picture is actually from last night's snack but I'm going to have it again tonight. It's Stoneyfield Farms cookies n dream (full fat!) ice cream. It's soooo yummy! I don't like plain chocolate ice cream but adding chunks of chocolate cookies to vanilla is amazing.

I've noticed a couple of bloggers saying how they've been hungrier than usual lately, and I have been too. I don't know if it's because my metabolism has sped up, because I haven't weighed myself recently and don't know if I've lost weight. It could also be because I'm lacking in fat/protein/fiber/something else and don't feel full as much as I should. But in any case, I've been having a really difficult time honoring my hunger. When I start to feel hungry, I usually just drink water or have a stick of gum to kill it off for a bit. Either that, or I have a bite of fruit. So, I've basically been sitting with my hunger, allowing it to distract me from my schoolwork, cello, studying, etc. I know this is ridiculous and irrational but I'm still so afraid that if I go over my set calorie limit, I'm going to gain weight. I don't know what to do! I want to give my body all the food it needs, but I can't convince myself that a couple extra calories on normal days (like when I'm not going out to eat) won't add up and make me gain. Arrrrrg advice would be much appreciated.

Now I'm off to... I don't know. I might watch some crappy TV with my mom. Night!

Christmas 2008!

I hope all of you had a marvelous holiday. Each one of you deserves to have one day where you can be completely free of ED and food thoughts.

My Christmas Eve dinner went pretty well last night. I didn't think of calories while we were actually eating, but the guilt started to kick in a bit later. I just sat with the feeling though, as always. Maybe some day, after I've tried to ignore the ED voice enough times, it will just go away. I didn't manage to get any pics, sorry!

My sister and I woke up around 6 this morning, but managed to contain our excitement until around 8 when we woke our parents up. My mom and dad picked out great presents for us this year, I love them so much! I'll highlight some of them.

Veganomicon! Even though I'm not vegan, but I still can't resist all the creations bloggers who have this book make.

Sweet and Sara Vegan marshmallows. Oh, marshmallows. It's been too, too long! They're a little denser than real marshmallows, but I prefer these.

A Wii! This was actually from "Santa". He totally surprised us this year, because neither me or my sister asked for one. We got sports with it!

And the coolest toe socks on the face of the earth!

Now onto today's food! For breakfast, we made pancakes using the whole wheat gingerbread mix from World Market. They were a perfect start to Christmas!

I topped these two with a bit of butter and maple syrup. Then I decided I wanted a third, just plain. Later I had an apple and string cheese.

We planned on eating around three, so at noon I had a sort of snunch (snack+lunch) involving another apple with cheese and a warmed zbar :]

For dinner, we had:
Smoky mashed potato bake

Sweet potato casserole (my favorite, without marshmallows)

Corn souffle that didn't puff up properly, to my disappointment

Arabian Stuffed Squash casserole, from Moosewood. We did the alternative listed and used cheddar cheese and dried cranberries!

And a pumpkin praline cake roll for dessert!

Yum. I was a bit hungry around 8 tonight, so I had some Christmas oats. They involved half a candy cane, dark chocolate chips, and a caramelized banana.
I managed to have a pretty much ED free day. I went a day without counting! Pretty much the first time in a year and a half! I caught myself adding some stuff up though, it's so second nature to me. I played a lot of Wii sports today so that cut down on a lot of the "you're so lazy" comments from ED. Again, now that I'm just sitting around I'm starting to feel guilty again. But this is Christmas, it's supposed to be a joyous holiday spent with family, so what does it matter if I'm over my calories today? I'll just keep saying it to myself.

Again, Merry Christmas to everyone!

Breakfast: It's what's for dinner!

Like I said I would do before, I took advantage of the lack of parental units and my picky older sister and made an unusual dinner. I couldn't really think of what I wanted, but as I was looking through the pantry and saw this pancake mix I bought last weekend
It doesn't say so on the front, but this mix is made with whole grain flour. Gingerbread is one of my favorite foods too! I made three pancakes. One with pure maple syrup, one with a sliced banana, and one with frozen blueberries. I heated the blueberries in the microwave so they were warm and mushy!
Ignore the burnt pancake! I have to say these weren't overly gingerbread-y. They were just barely spiced. I think next time I'll have to add my own nutmeg, cinnamon and cloves. I also had an egg on the side for some protein. Tonight, I had a clementine, whole grain graham crackers with peanut butter, vanilla Ben and Jerry's, and a mini dark chocolate from my advent calendar. No pics, sorry! I've challenged myself to eat everything from the advent calendar this year, and not exercise it off like I have in past years.

Tomorrow I have an orchestra rehearsal after school, then I'm going to my first group therapy session. Hopefully it will help! I probably won't be on until after dinner.